Live Well and Fully

Hi, I’m Barbara Decker, Parent Recovery Advocate. I’m a Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS) and founder of Live Well and Fully. Read reviews of our work here: https://endorsal.io/reviews/live-well-and-fully. I help parents of adult children with the disease of addiction free themselves from the non-stop worry. I help them reclaim pockets of peace and joy in their lives. We do this all in a way that gives the child every possible opportunity to choose recovery. I came to this work through my own journey with my son Eric’s addiction. It shocked me to the core when I learned he’d become addicted to meth. I spent years agonizing over every little thing I said or did. I tried to keep him close. Tried to help him. All I did was push him further away. I was at my wits’ end and ready to give up all hope, when a wise clinician taught me something I’ll never forget. She said: “You Can’t Change Anyone Else. The Only Person You Can Change Is You.” It was a hard truth to accept. Once I did, everything changed. I went from being frantic and worried all the time… to being calm, peaceful and serene. Even while Eric was still using. I stopped paying his bills and driving him all over town… and made myself the priority instead. I never stopped loving my son. I stopped trying to prove I loved him by constantly trying to rescue or fix him. I now refer to this compulsion to “prove our Mom-hood” as the Mom Code. I ditched my Mom Code. Instead, I began to love my son another way. And the fire of addiction began to recede until he eventually chose recovery for himself. He’s been in recovery since 2018, and he’s grown into the man I knew he could be. And he’s now an active part of my work helping moms reclaim peace in their lives and support their kids in ways that actually work.