While most of my experiences may seem unrelated, they are in fact linked by two key themes: humor and my parents' disappointment. From my time as an undersized minor-league pitcher, to years as a self-loathing salesperson, to my 'career' as a comedian, I am a shining example of just how far mediocrity can go. In 2012, I was voted fifth-funniest person in my family, narrowly losing to my sister’s stuffed animal Chester, and our blind family parakeet (RIP). My internet fans have described me “only kinda funny” and “fine if you’re super-bored.” In my free time I can be found testing offensive jokes on people I barely know or yelling at kids. My work has been featured in renowned publications like the dark web, Total Frat Move, and my diary.Follow me for workplace comedy and satire!S.A.D.N.E.S.S. - Sales Are Dope Never Ever Stop Selling