Joe Gamer Email & Phone Number

Grow various crops, utilizing industry-standard techniques for growing high-volume crops in limited space. Breed and raise livestock. Participate in a thriving local economy built primarily on bartering. Volunteer to assist neighboring farms with harvests and other large tasks.

Constantinople

Recruited, hired and trained several new team members. Responsible for logistics, including acquisition of weapons, finances and real estate. Heavily involved in local political circles. Served as company's ambassador to the Vatican. Engineered, and reverse-engineered, new technologies to perform core tasks more efficiently. Fluent in Arabic and Italian.

Provide user acceptance testing for the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, in various iterations. Tested other, minor products, including Repulsion Gel and Discouragement Lasers. Extensive troubleshooting of company's proprietary operating system, GLaDOS.

Recruited several other members to join the band, as well as DJs to work our local club gigs. Store and maintain all instruments. Select all tracks to play at each show.

Zul'Gurub

Create leather and woolen clothing for magic-users. Forge swords, armor, and other metal goods for sale, and tested same in realistic combat situations. Built bows and other ranged weaponry. Gathered raw materials for crafts, including mining for metal ore, forestry, and trade negotiations with local tribes of monsters.

Sinnoh Region

Assist various professors in research and study of exotic Pokemon breeds, through capture and examination. Developed Pokedex database consisting of nearly 600 distinct species. Train captured Pokemon to succeed in local combat tournaments. Winner of over 60 trainer badges. Breed and evolve Pokemon to promote specific characteristics.

Research potential locations for lost historical artifacts dating back several thousand years. Travel to remote locations, often without the assistance of a local guide, to explore ancient tombs and temples. Study recovered artifacts to observe any uncanny and possibly apocalyptic properties they may possess. Occasionally required to forcibly negotiate.

Maxis City

Design and develop utility runs, roads, and buildings. Oversee terraforming operations. Respond to natural disasters and monster attacks from the city's Emergency Operations Center. Directly responsible for controlling tax rates, budgeting for police, fire protection, and education. Prepared city for the distant future by constructing agricultural grow.

Monkey Island, Carribean

Swordfight and search for lost treasure and mythical secrets. Provide personal security to Governor Marley. Buy, sell, and otherwise acquire ships and supplies. Briefly cross-trained in food prep and potion-making. Repel undead pirate captains.

Maitland, FL

Built, managed, coached, and played for sports teams that have won over 50 Super Bowls, 24 World Series, 16 Stanley Cups, and 42 NBA Finals. Driven and served on pit crews of over 200 NASCAR, Formula 1, and go-kart races. Champion player on the PGA Tour, various tennis and volleyball leagues, and bowling tournaments.

Midgar

Research appropriate food to provide to Chocobos to maximize desirable traits, including speed, strength, and attitude. Catch and domesticate wild chocobos, eventually breeding them using advanced husbandry techniques. Champion Chocobo racer. Fluent in Al-Bhed.

Zebes

Operate various Chozo technologies and pilot interstellar gunships. Foremost expert on Metroids and other life indigenous to planet SR388. Secure biological weapons and highly volatile phazon energy against Space Pirates.

San Francisco Bay Area

Travel around the globe conducting investigations into high-profile thefts. Collaborate with INTERPOL to obtain arrest warrants and process captured perpetrators. Interview witnesses (in multiple languages) to procure statements and gather evidence. Led investigation resulting in the apprehension and conviction of FBI's #1 Most Wanted Criminal, Carmen.

Shadow Moses Island

Founded Philanthropy, a non-profit organization lobbying for nuclear non-proliferation. Expert marksman and stealth operative. Trained in interrogation techniques and resistance to same. Operate bipedal battle tanks.

Greater New York City Area

Traverse vast network of sewer pipes under New York City, and the adjoining Mushroom Kingdom. Clear pipes and drains of clogs and the occasional Goomba infestation. Gather loose change that accumulates under gratings and behind brick substructure.

Expert at diffusing hostage situations; have personally rescued more than 70 princesses and high-ranking officials and their families. Recovered items of magical or technological significance from hostile facilities on a contract basis. Designed and implemented fortifications for castles and other buildings of key tactical significance.

Grill and prepare hamburgers for waiting customers in a fast-paced environment. Ensured other foods did not contaminate burgers by keeping them at bay with pepper shakers.