"Name a time where you had a conflict in a work environment, and how did you resolve it?"It's one of my favorite questions to ask in an interview. It's surprising how many job seekers will say they've never had experience with conflict where they work. Is it possible that they are simply blessed to be around agreeable people all the time? Perhaps. But I think it's more likely that they choose to bury their conflict rather than face it head-on. Nobody likes conflict. Addressing it makes us vulnerable. Will facing it only lead to more conflict? Who decides the winner and the loser? Through my years in the Air Force and as a civilian, I've discovered that there's a way to end conflict where both sides are winners, and that's through dignity and respect.One of my earliest experiences came during a training exercise in the military. I was an Airman First Class, one of the lowest ranking enlisted. My flight was led by a lieutenant, a pilot who graduated from the Academy and was learning to fly F18s. We had been working in the forest for an entire week, and we were glad to finally to blow off some steam. Several flights gathered around to shoot the breeze. The lieutenant that was in charge of me started commanding an entire audience with his jokes. He told a story that I had shared privately with my flight during our week-long expedition. He got a ton of laughs at my expense. I was deeply embarrassed. That story wasn't meant to be out in the open. I had shared it exclusively with my flight to build camaraderie after a stressful day. He left the group and started walking back to our tent. I was so low-ranking and he was an officer. Would I get in trouble for saying something? But I knew that I had to stand up for myself. I caught him by the tent and asked if we could talk. I said softly to him, "I don't appreciate you telling that story." I'll never forget the look of humility that washed over his face. He instantly apologized and realized he had acted out of line. We made amends and we were free to continue our mission without any resentment. I really grew that day, and it taught me the valuable lesson of being respectful and calm when in the face of conflict. We can't predict how others will react. But we are free to decide how we will act.