Eric Son Email & Phone Number

Greater Melbourne Area

Main duties:-Having long lunches with customers and work cronies. (Justified as essential customer meetings).-Recommending family members of my customers for plum jobs, whether they are qualified or not.-Inviting customers to major sporting events and other entertainment to help them with their purchase decisions.-Nodding in approval at everything my leaders say in meetings.-Going around the office telling everyone about the benefits of artificial intelligence. - It is… Show more Main duties:-Having long lunches with customers and work cronies. (Justified as essential customer meetings).-Recommending family members of my customers for plum jobs, whether they are qualified or not.-Inviting customers to major sporting events and other entertainment to help them with their purchase decisions.-Nodding in approval at everything my leaders say in meetings.-Going around the office telling everyone about the benefits of artificial intelligence. - It is important, as there is no REAL intelligence remaining here.-Taking many leaves without entering it into ADP. (Something I learnt from my leaders, to help boost my payout when I exit the company).-Attending junkets.-Enjoying a hit of golf with my customers during work time, followed by an expensive meal. -Thanks to the expense account.-Never running my own business or external directorships while on company time.-Supporting diversity & wokeness.-Counting multiple layers of duplicated managers.-Not seeing any improvement in people after they get their MBA, PMP, Six Sigma, or other micro certifications.-Working with people that have been fast-track promoted to incompetence.-Story telling.-Value adding.-Monetization.-Onboarding.-Keynote speaker.-Taking credit for other people's work. -Ticking all the boxes.-Being seen with people that have famous fathers.-Promoting synergy.-Imagining the impossible.-Orchestrator.-Brand Ambassador.-Consulting.-Having conversations about integrity and ethics with people at work while hanging out near the office coffee machine.-Including leaders on emails announcing my project success, so they can see how good I am.-Using big words when I know the boss can hear me.-Leveraging.-Doing lots of agile things.-Innovating and disrupting.-Going to governance meetings.-Making KPIs look better than they are.-Sorting different colored lentils into neat piles.-Collaborating with people..-Never watching Bollywood movies while being paid to work. Show less

Melbourne, Australia

Specialties:-Corporate troubleshooting.-Facilitation.-Dispute mediation and resolution.-Bringing home the bacon.-Executive consultation.-Counting duplicate managers. - How many Chief Operating Officers and Chief Technology Officers does one company need to employ? -Big data analytics.-Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.-Identifying the bogus.-Content strategy.-Slicing. (Smallgoods and other delicatessen products).-Driving… Show more Specialties:-Corporate troubleshooting.-Facilitation.-Dispute mediation and resolution.-Bringing home the bacon.-Executive consultation.-Counting duplicate managers. - How many Chief Operating Officers and Chief Technology Officers does one company need to employ? -Big data analytics.-Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.-Identifying the bogus.-Content strategy.-Slicing. (Smallgoods and other delicatessen products).-Driving innovation.-Driving results.-Driving my car. Show less

Job roles:-Corporate cleansing.-Fraud monitoring.-Learning new buzz words daily, because they sound good in meetings.-Working with people that advertise big academic qualifications, but still struggle to do their job.-Expert Data Lake navigator.-Lots of agility.-Stakeholder engagement.-DevOps analyzer.-Leading workshops to devise important sounding titles for obscure new management positions.-Legume cultivation.-Managing change.-Answering… Show more Job roles:-Corporate cleansing.-Fraud monitoring.-Learning new buzz words daily, because they sound good in meetings.-Working with people that advertise big academic qualifications, but still struggle to do their job.-Expert Data Lake navigator.-Lots of agility.-Stakeholder engagement.-DevOps analyzer.-Leading workshops to devise important sounding titles for obscure new management positions.-Legume cultivation.-Managing change.-Answering FAQ.-Avoiding having my profile photo taken standing at 45 degrees to the camera, while turning my face toward the lens with a fake surprised candid expression. Show less