Disputes come when people get stuck in their thinking and can see only one way forward, and that one way has no good outcome - court cases, escalating costs, rancour and further dispute. At its best mediation can open doors in the way that people think, allowing people to see totally new outcomes and “invent” their own solutions.To be a good mediator takes rare, and perhaps unexpected, skills. It is not about legal knowledge, passing judgement, advocacy, or the ability of the mediator to come up with a solution. It’s about understanding human nature, taking an intense interest in every detail of a situation; even being downright nosey, so that no path is left unexplored. It’s about being able to deal with often highly charged situations without either aggravating the situation or failing to sufficiently challenge the thinking of those involved. I have many years of experience in dealing with exactly these challenges. I have lead a social care fostering team in a London local authority, worked as a Samaritan listening volunteer and currently support foster carers who have had allegations made against them. These experiences share some common features – people (often in crisis) whose emotional state blocks them from seeing a way forward. I combine an approachable, calm and supportive approach with the ability to sensitively push people forward (even when they feel uncomfortable) to consider new options. I get people talking; explore their aspirations, getting to the bottom of what they really want and not what they initially may think they want. I help them think creatively around different outcomes, while providing a reality check on those options alongside what may happen if no resolution is found.