Life started out pretty normal. By 30 I had established a robust and respected career in higher education. Then, I fell in love, got married, and we had two children. What I didn't know was that I married a man with narcissistic personality disorder and soon life was spiraling out of control. Narcissists coercively control those who are closest to them (their "targets") to maintain their delusions of superiority and excessive need for admiration. My husband relentlessly used insidious, emotionally abusive strategies to strip me of my self-esteem and authentic identity. My mental and physical health started declining but I didn't understand that it was from my husband's chronic, manipulative, emotional abuse. When I realized that my children were being negatively affected by my husband's relationally harmful behaviors, I filed for divorce which triggered a narcissistic injury and his abusive behaviors towards me escalated. He knew the most egregious thing he could do to me would be to disrupt the relationship that I had with my beloved children. I honestly didn't think he could. And I thought that law enforcement, child protective services, and family court would help me protect my children if he tried. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Under the watchful eye of the institutions that claim to care and protect children and families, I lost my children, my home, my value and worth and my identity as a loving mother. My world was shattered by complex trauma and grief. Eventually I began recovering and found that I had a completely new set of skills and knowledge. As an expert in high-conflict family court with lived experience, I have devoted my life to transforming family court with evidence based and trauma informed science. I couldn't save my children from the adverse childhood experiences escalated and prolonged by family court, but I am determined that my losses will become my legacy to end family court trauma.