Startup Doom

🚀 The startup gods demand a pivot. It shall change nothing. Startups are built on hope, caffeine, and outright delusion - and Startup Doom is here to document the spectacle. If you’ve ever: ✅ Explained your “AI-powered” product while secretly using spreadsheets ✅ Been ghosted by a VC who swore they were “so excited to stay in touch” ✅ Launched an MVP that’s mostly a landing page and a prayer ✅ Hit "burn rate critical" but decided a company offsite was the solution …welcome home. 💀 What is Startup Doom? A brutally honest, deeply unserious commentary on founder suffering, VC nonsense, and the endless cycle of “just one more pivot.” We turn your existential startup dread into content, whether it’s: 🔥 Snarky startup prophecies that predict your demise with eerie accuracy 🔥 Memes and merch that let you wear your funding failures with pride 🔥 AI-generated startup roasts because humans shouldn’t be the only ones judging you If you're here, you're either raising a doomed round, trying to acquire users who will never convert, or building in stealth because even you aren't sure what the product does. Either way - congrats, you’re part of the fun. 🎭 What We Offer ⚡ Startup satire, daily doses of suffering 📈 Brutal truths disguised as jokes 👕 Merch for founders who’ve been gaslit by VCs This is not one of those “tactical growth” accounts. If you need real startup advice, go find a guy in a Patagonia vest. But if you need a coping mechanism, stick around. 📩 Follow along @StartupDoom on Twitter/X or LinkedIn. 👕 Get merch that lets you cry in style (soon). 🚀 Pray for your Series A(or whatever).